Tag Archives: Forgiveness

Fundamentals of Happiness

Originally written: http://www.healthy-holistic-living.com

How can we find happiness? Is there a tangible path to happiness or is it some illusive feeling that comes and goes according to what happens around us? According to the Dalai Lama, happiness can be cultivated like all other things. The structure of the human brain is optimally designed to allow us to affect our behaviors, personality and patterns. Ultimately giving d5us the power to lead either unhappy or unfulfilled lives or to live inspired, happy full lives. The choice is ours.

“The systematic training of the mind- the cultivation of happiness, the genuine inner transformation by deliberately selecting and focusing on positive mental states and challenging negative mental states – is possible because of the very structure and function of the brain. We are born with brains that are genetically hardwired with certain instinctual behavior patterns; we are predisposed mentally, emotionally, and physically to respond to our environment in ways that enable us to survive. 

These basic sets of instructions are encoded in countless innate nerve cell activation patterns, specific combinations of brain cells fire in response to a given event experience or d1thought. But the wiring in our brains is not static, not irrevocably fixed. Our brains are also adaptable. Neuroscientists have documented the fact that the brain can design new patterns, new combinations of nerve cells and neurotransmitters (chemicals that transmit messages between nerve cells) in response to new input. In fact, our brains are malleable, ever changing, reconfiguring their wiring according to new thoughts and experiences. And as a result of learning the function of individual neurons themselves change, allowing electrical signals to travel along them more readily. Scientists call the brain’s inherent capacity to change “plasticity.”

Simply put we may not be able to alter existing neuropath ways, but we can develop new patterns or neuropath ways that are stronger and therefore become the dominant pattern.

“This is known as the practice of “Dharma.” This is the constant battle within of replacing previous negative conditioning or habituation with new positive conditioning.”

No matter what activity or practice we are perusing there is not anything that isn’t made easier through constant familiarity and training. Through training, we can change; we can transform ourselves.”

So I guess the saying practice makes perfect is true? So, what do you practice to cultivate happiness?d4

OK you’re not going to like this because you have heard it all before but here it goes!!

1. “Make a Conscious Choice To Be Happy”

Most things in life require that we make a conscious, deliberate choice to pursue them or they remain only an allusive dream just outside of our reach. Acknowledge you are not happy with your current self, be honest with yourself and others. Commit from this day forward to live a happy, fulfilled life.

2. “Cultivate a Sense of Connection With Yourself and Others”d2

Foster friendships; we are here to experience all the joy the world has to offer and, without other people to share the experience with, we would not have the fulfillment and joy that we all desire. Let people in to your core to share in your vulnerability and your growth.

3. Focus on Forgiveness of Yourself and Others”

Forgiveness is not always easy but the more we say the words “I am sorry” the easier and more natural they become. It does not take away from who we are as a person, to forgive it is what makes us complete.

4. “Cultivate Gratitude”

Be grateful for every moment you have: the good, the bad and the boring. Each moment is precious and provides us with a path to wholeness. Embrace each experience and say thanks at the end of each day for all that you have, all that you experienced and all the opportunities you will create.

English: Peace, love and happyness award Franç...

English: Peace, love and happyness award Français : Récompense pour la Paix, l’Amour et la Joie (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

5. “Counteract Negative Thoughts and Feelings”

This requires a conscious effort on your part to acknowledge negative thoughts and to replace them with positive feelings. To build positive neuropath ways that will dominate your thinking requires constant practice. If you have a tendency to be negative, it simply means you have focused on negative feelings or have practiced being negative more than positive. It is that simple! Practice positive feelings!

6. “Shift your Focus”

Focus only on YOU. Accept the fact that you cannot change another human being. And in fact, that is not your job or your place. You can only change yourself. Shift your focus to what it is you are doing and feeling. You may be surprised that you are in fact doing some of the same things that you are criticizing others for doing.

7. “Engage in Meaningful Activities”

If your life is filled with mundane, unsatisfying activities, attaining happiness will be an uphill battle. Are you living an inspired life? Are you engaging in activities that you desire, that make you happy? Engaging in activities that have meaning to your true, authentic self brings you tremendous joy. Find out what is meaningful to you and pursue those activities.

8. “Cultivate physical, Mental and Spiritual Health”d3

We are physical beings living in a physical world. We need to tend to our bodies, our minds as well as our spirits. Eating right, exercising and practicing our spiritual beliefs on a daily basis with help cultivate the seeds of happiness.

9. “Pursue Pleasure”

Do things that bring you total JOY. Things that inspire you, please you, and provide you with a boundless sense of love and joy. We all know that feeling, we just need to make it a


Happiness (Photo credit: Celestine Chua)

priority to pursue pleasure!

7 Steps to Happiness
We are human and we require structure and repetition to alter our behaviors and ultimately alter our lives. Having steps to support your goals is essential.

1. Meditation or Prayer

Find a meditation that works for you and practice it everyday! It is that simple. Give yourself the time to release everything, to be in the moment change your life.

2. Movement

No matter what your situation or condition you must move your body! We are human and our bodies are required to be fluid to function properly. This functioning is not limited to the physical self it also influences your mental health and spiritual health. Remember we are a whole being.

3. Sleep

Proper sleep is essential for our physical and mental well-being. It is our time to regenerate and recover from the experiences of the day. Without the proper sleep your body will be running on a constant deficit and will always be compromised. Thus making it all that more difficult to obtain happiness and wellbeing.

4. Proper Nutrition

As with exercise, we must acknowledge we are human beings with basic needs to function properly. Eating right will provide you with the optimum resources necessary to attain your physical, mental and spiritual goals.

5. Breathing

Simple enough but most of us do not breathe deeply enough to engage our bodies and provide our cells with all the necessary nutrients to function properly. Practice deep breathing throughout the day whenever you remember.

6. Humor

Humor ultimately is the best medicine. From a physical perspective it releases endorphins in our body, which makes us feel better, and it releases pent up emotions that if not released become toxic to our body. The more we can laugh at ourselves the healthier and happier we will be.

7. Practice, Practice, Practice

The excerpts above are from one of my favorite books The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by His Holiness The Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler MD.

Funny enough, it really doesn’t matter what your situation is, the rules are the same read Tools for Dealing with a Chronic Illness to learn more about the tools and techniques you can use to live a happy and fulfilled life.

Take the conscious road to authentic power!!!

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Forgive.. and have a heart of gold!

Forgiveness… It’s such a hard thing to do, yet it can be so liberating to the soul. What makes forgivesness difficult to do is how we think of it and consequently intrepret it. Many of us believe that when we forgive it means everything shall return back to what and how it was before a certain incident has occurred which of course makes it difficult for us to actually forgive when thinking about it in such a limited way.

How can you forget the unforgettable? How can you forgive the unforgivable? There are indeed benefits for forgiveness and in order to enjoy them you don’t really need to to go that far when faced with a certain situation. What is vital is the fact that we make the decision to move forward, to let go of the old hurt. We don’t have to overlook what has been done. What’s wrong is still wrong. You don’t have or need to invite the person back into your live if that is what makes you feel better. What we need to do is to allow ourselves to release all the negative emotions associated with that person responsible for causing the pain or the discomfort. As long as we hold onto the pain, we are choosing to allow that person’s past actions to continue to hurt us.  The interesting fact here is that we can also choose to stop the cycle of hurt by simply not allowing this person’s actions or behaviors hurt us anymore. That is a conscious choice though.

When someone causes us pain either deliberatly or without realzing it, we need to be aware of how that makes us feel. We need to understand that when we let go of that pain for our own sake. It is not because we are weak we decide to forgive.

Think of the painful situations, and think of them in detail and lastly allow yourself to feel the hurt. Do whatever you need to so that your hurt comes on the surface, you may want to cry, you may get angry and feel you want to shout or you may feel you just want to be silent.

After that make a conscious decsion and choose to actually let go of the pain you feel. Letting go fo the paoin does not minmize its effect it does, however, validate your own worth as a person. Choose to regain back your personal powe to be able to heal your wounded heart. Choose to release the negative and hurtful emotions you are feeling. Choose to heal and move on.

Forgive others , forgive yourself, heal your heart and have a heart of gold which is capable of letting go when it needs to and wait for the good things to come your way..

Nada Rashed

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